The Legend of Barry

Stephanie, with snacks and a unicorn

Last weekend I was in Santa Barbara with my girlfriend. We were going to see a movie with a friend and had some time to kill before showtime, so we went to a Toys-R-Us to look for a gift for my niece's upcoming birthday. Among the countless movie franchised crap, sci-fi action figures, standard board games, badass LEGO sets, and things I wish I had as a kid but never got, there sat exactly what I was looking for; a stuffed unicorn. My mom had mentioned my niece wanted one, so I got it without hesitation (and I got fruit snacks, because hey; fruit snacks). The stuffed thing is little and purple, covered in daisy print, and is something that a seven year old girl with more toys than anything would probably appreciate for a bit. I hope she likes it, because that thing has traveled some miles with me now and I looked really hard for that specific thing.

On the long, sleepy drive back to Lone Pine late Sunday night, I started thinking up a story about the plush unicorn. It goes a little something like this:

Once upon a time, there lived a purple unicorn named Mr. Sparkles, although he'd tell you, "Please, call me Barry, Mr. Sparkles is my fathers name."

Barry lived by the seaside in a cozy-- but tastefully decorated-- condo in the sleepy beach town Prettycool. He worked as a notary for a local law firm during the week, and enjoyed local concerts on weekends. Every day after work, and every night after a show, Barry would spend an hour or so sitting on the beach, staring at the ocean waves as they crashed onto the shore. He dreamed of adventures beyond the horizon, far away from the home he always knew and away from the dramatics that came from the Law Office of Henry C. Glitterflutter, Esq. He wanted to see the world beyond the horizon, so after working hard and managing his finances, Barry finally saved up enough to set out on an adventure on the high seas.

He sailed on a boat for weeks toward destinations unknown, braving harsh storms, great swells, low provisions, and the realization that he knew nothing of sailing, but as luck would have it he found himself headed toward an archipelago that he could anchor at for awhile. He explored the seemingly abandoned island, giving an occasional, "Hmm," and, "Oh,"at things he found intriguing. He made camp in the pine forest a few miles from the bay he'd left his boat, and he spent his first night in the unknown land staring at the bright night sky through the trees. 

When morning came, Barry clomped around the island to a trailhead, and headed up the steep mountainside on an old and winding path. The trees around him became more and more sparse, until all that surrounded him was cold rock and glacier. The air was becoming thinner the higher he went, but Barry continued his ascent to the summit until... he made it. From the top of the peak he could see not only the other islands of the archipelago, but other islands far off in the misty horizon. He chuckled to himself, sure he would explore every island in short order, and started his descent to the beach.  

Down, down, down he hiked, sure of his abilities and feeling more invincible than ever, when suddenly he slipped! The loose rock of the old trail gave way under his hooves and he began to slide down the mountainside and toward a steep cliff. He tried to stop sliding toward his doom, but all hope seemed to be lost. He cried for help, and right before he slid off the side of the mountain a hand grabbed his leg and pulled him to safety.

Barry looked up and saw a mighty centaur. She wore a ball cap with the Prettycool Park Service logo and carried a walkie talkie, and explained that she was on a patrol when she noticed an unoccupied boat, empty camp, and a note that read "went to hike that big mountain over there totally alone" signed by a Mr. Barry Sparkles. Ranger Mona (her actual name was "Mona of the Terror Woods of Darkness, but she usually went by Ranger Mona for simplicity's sake) gave Barry a stern talking to, and said, "Sir, you're seriously lucky to even be alive. There's nothing wrong with adventure, but you have to be smart about it."

He made his way back to camp with the help of Ranger Mona, and made his way back to his boat after a quick rest. He sat on the beach, watching the waves roll in, and thought to himself, Dang. I've gone all this way, and even though this is a different beach I'm still staring at the same waves. I've traveled the high seas, scaled tall mountains, worked for a lawyer, and despite all those dangerous exploits I'm still staring at the same water.

He wondered if it was a waste of time, all the traveling and scares he'd  had along the way, but then he thought, I guess it's more the journey than the destination, right? I could've just stayed home, but I've had more fun looking at the waves on this island than I ever did out of my condo's kitchen window, and staring at the sky from my camp here than from the walk home from a show. This was worth it. 

Barry broke camp, resupplied at the ranger station, thanked Ranger Mona for saving his life, and set sail for home. He came back to the office, his horn chipped and rugged, mane longer and shaggier than ever, and he told story after story about the high seas, the mountains he climbed, the dangers he faced, and his plans to do it all over again smarter and better. 

 The End

It's not exactly what I'd thought up in the car, and it's not really that great, but it's a story.

A grizzled adventurer

That little plush has traveled from the coast, through valleys, mountains, and deserts, and soon it'll be in harshest landscape of all; the bedroom of a seven-year-old girl. I know one day she'll forget about it. After all, it's just a stuffed animal from her uncle, it's not some priceless heirloom. Hell, I'm sure I'll forget about it and this story I typed out before too long, but it's all for fun. You can never tell what a kid will remember though, or what stupid stories you'll make up while driving home in the dark, but I'm sure the adventures Mr. Barry Sparkles will have with my niece will be even better than his sailing and mountaineering for awhile.