The War

"The War On Christmas" is some stupid shit, alright?

Why do people get up in arms about acknowledging other holidays? For years now people have been flipping out over Starbucks cups not having "Merry Christmas" emblazoned on them, or store clerks wishing people "Happy Holidays!" when they neither know nor care about what you might celebrate or not. Despite Christian denominations making up about 70% of the United States general population some people, especially in certain news media, completely believe that Christmas is under attack. It's not. For real. Despite what whats-his-face might say, there's no War On Christmas. Plus, not as many people give a shit about how they're greeted this time of year anyway, so it's really not a big deal.

Imagine, though, that the War On Christmas was actually a thing. What would the most effective means of dealing with a situation like that be?

Let's look at the one such example: The Grinch.

"You're a sassy one, Mr. Grinch."

He's an asshole. He hated everything, especially the noise, noise, noise that came from the Whos down in Whoville during Christmas. That hatred spurred on a plan to take away every last object relating to Christmas in an effort to eradicate the holiday. The Grinch dressed the part of Santa, sleigh and all, to go about taking every holiday-related foodstuff, gift, and decoration in Whoville. After his raid, while his smug ass sat on the mountainside over the town waiting to hear the lamentations of the Whos (which is counterproductive when it comes to stopping the noise, noise, noise, but whatever) he instead was greeted by the Whos gathered in the town square, singing, all happy to be together. The Grinch figured out that being with the ones you love during the holidays is more important that anything else.

That's basically the story. You know it already. I don't need to explain it to you.

However, it's an example of someone quite literally waging war on Christmas. The Grinch is literally breaking and entering with the sole purpose of getting rid of anything Christmas related. He lies to a child, destroys property, abuses his dog, all in the name of destroying the holiday. That dude is a dick, but despite it all the Whos didn't pay his actions much mind. They still gathered in the spirit of the season and had their little song and dance in the snow, which was enough to get The Grinch to turn around with his feelings about the holidays. Plus, they let him sit at the head of the table for the feast! They know he stole everything but he's carving the roast beast like nothing ever happened!

The people in the "War On Christmas" camp, however, are basically the Anti-Whos; the slightest indication that something isn't Christmas send them into a rage. The implication that there's something equally festive for someone else is met with hostility. They aren't here for togetherness so much as they're here for the pageantry of the decorations, the presents, and the title of Christmas over all else.

If the "War On Christmas" people took the Whoville approach and actually didn't give a shit if Christmas decorations were constantly in your face by the end of November, and instead embraced being together with friends, family, and loved ones, maybe they'd be a lot happier. If the media outlets that go on about the made-up war actually honored the values they claim to be protecting, maybe they'd, I don't know, love their neighbors regardless, like Jesus said to do. It's kind of a dick move to do the exact opposite thing as someone asks of you when he's someone you claim to have a close relationship with and it's his fucking birthday.

Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. And maybe, perhaps, possibly, someday, the losers who think Christmas is under attack can get their heads out of their asses and grow their hearts a few sizes too.

Happy Hanukkah, Happy Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Yule, and happy holidays in general, y'all.