Wednesday, November 4, 2015

The Paranormal Encounters Project (an AJ Hampton Production)

Last month, since it was October and I had all things spooky on the brain, I did my best to watch scary movies as much as possible until Halloween. By inundating myself with Netflix's selection of horror movies nearly every day for a month, I remembered a couple things:
  1. I really enjoy "found footage" horror movies like The Blair Witch Project
  2. Movies like The Blair Witch Project are, more often than not, garbage. Just straight up, steaming piles of garbage.
When The Blair Witch Project came out it was unique for being made with not much more than a camcorder and a shoestring budget-- but managing to be a box office hit. I think it's cool because there's something believable and unsettling about being lost in the woods and possibly being stalked by someone-- or something-- you never even see. The simplicity of its production, primal fears it played on, believability of an on-location film crew being turned around in a big wooded area, and sweet '90s grunge-era wardrobe make it fun for me to watch. 

Of course, since The Blair Witch Project there have been a lot of "found footage" type films, and some of them are pretty good in my book; I'm a big fan of the first Grave Encounters and the first few  Paranormal Activity movies, but, then again, I know they aren't really good; they do some spooky things well and I get a kick out of them for that if nothing else. However, a lot of movies of this genre missed the decent parts of what make a good movie but kept the shitty camera work and general premise of the movies before them.

If you want to write most "found footage" horror movies, follow this Mad-Lib:

A message like "The following footage from 2000-something was recovered last year. It is now available for viewing from the public" comes up on a black screen, with some context possibly sprinkled in.

A (documentary film crew/ paranormal investigation team/ a group of teens with a camcorder) goes to (abandoned mental hospital/ old apartment building/ unassuming house) to (perform an exorcism/ catch a ghost/ try to freak out some nerd), but then things go horribly wrong when (ghosts start moving things/ the building contains endlessly repeating hallways/ a demon-ghost-entity completely possesses someone). At some point someone gets (thrown into a wall and killed/ sucked down a dark hallway never to be seen alive again/ somehow stabbed to death) and a shaky camera running away scene commences. After the immediate threat is behind them, someone sets down the camera and (something moves on its own/ a shadow of the ghost passes by/ the possessed person is watching THE WHOLE TIME) but picks it back up just as soon as anything spooky is out of sight. BUT SUDDENLY (things in some room start to float in mid-air/ the ghost appears and kills someone/ some possessed person is crawling on the ceiling in a contorted fashion) so the remaining survivors rush toward the exit-- only to find it locked. The person with the camera gets knocked down and they are seen (being dragged through a pool of their own blood/ hovering with the possessed standing by/ staring blankly into the camera) until someone else grabs the camera and continues running toward a creepy place avoided earlier in the movie. Night vision is turned on, and shaky breathing and a green-and-black void are all that are picked up. Things seem okay for a moment, but then (the ghost finds the last survivor and kills them/ the camera light starts to die and flickers of the antagonist are the last thing to be seen/ the floor collapses and a dead body is seen through a broken camera lens). The screen abruptly goes to black, shitty generic hardcore music starts playing, and the credits roll.

~The End~

If I just made you the next best film director, you're welcome. If you were looking to watch any Paranormal Activity/Grave Encounters ripoff, I'm sorry for the spoilers.