Quick Update 3-25-15

Hi reader! Sorry I haven't updated this blog in awhile, I've been really busy with life and work and everything in-between.

Because of unseasonably warm weather, people have been travelling to the area and staying at the hotel and I've been getting out of town (or at least out of the house) on the weekends. I only just caught up on sleep last night after going nearly nonstop doing stuff since Friday morning. Coffee has been my savior, sleep has been a star crossed lover, and my schedule has been-- and continues to be-- full.

I plan to go camping and hiking a lot more once I get a free weekend, I have a half marathon to run this weekend that I'm horribly unprepared for (I'll try to write on that next week), I went to Disneyland and the coast in the last month, there are weddings and various other events to attend, and... yeah. It's been a busy few weeks and it doesn't show any signs of letting up.

I'll continue to write the same flowery, prosaic bullshit I always do soon.

In the meantime, I have to build up more stuff to write about.

And hopefully I can get a restful night's sleep one of these weeks.

The Legend of Barry

Stephanie, with snacks and a unicorn

Last weekend I was in Santa Barbara with my girlfriend. We were going to see a movie with a friend and had some time to kill before showtime, so we went to a Toys-R-Us to look for a gift for my niece's upcoming birthday. Among the countless movie franchised crap, sci-fi action figures, standard board games, badass LEGO sets, and things I wish I had as a kid but never got, there sat exactly what I was looking for; a stuffed unicorn. My mom had mentioned my niece wanted one, so I got it without hesitation (and I got fruit snacks, because hey; fruit snacks). The stuffed thing is little and purple, covered in daisy print, and is something that a seven year old girl with more toys than anything would probably appreciate for a bit. I hope she likes it, because that thing has traveled some miles with me now and I looked really hard for that specific thing.

On the long, sleepy drive back to Lone Pine late Sunday night, I started thinking up a story about the plush unicorn. It goes a little something like this:

Once upon a time, there lived a purple unicorn named Mr. Sparkles, although he'd tell you, "Please, call me Barry, Mr. Sparkles is my fathers name."

Barry lived by the seaside in a cozy-- but tastefully decorated-- condo in the sleepy beach town Prettycool. He worked as a notary for a local law firm during the week, and enjoyed local concerts on weekends. Every day after work, and every night after a show, Barry would spend an hour or so sitting on the beach, staring at the ocean waves as they crashed onto the shore. He dreamed of adventures beyond the horizon, far away from the home he always knew and away from the dramatics that came from the Law Office of Henry C. Glitterflutter, Esq. He wanted to see the world beyond the horizon, so after working hard and managing his finances, Barry finally saved up enough to set out on an adventure on the high seas.

He sailed on a boat for weeks toward destinations unknown, braving harsh storms, great swells, low provisions, and the realization that he knew nothing of sailing, but as luck would have it he found himself headed toward an archipelago that he could anchor at for awhile. He explored the seemingly abandoned island, giving an occasional, "Hmm," and, "Oh,"at things he found intriguing. He made camp in the pine forest a few miles from the bay he'd left his boat, and he spent his first night in the unknown land staring at the bright night sky through the trees. 

When morning came, Barry clomped around the island to a trailhead, and headed up the steep mountainside on an old and winding path. The trees around him became more and more sparse, until all that surrounded him was cold rock and glacier. The air was becoming thinner the higher he went, but Barry continued his ascent to the summit until... he made it. From the top of the peak he could see not only the other islands of the archipelago, but other islands far off in the misty horizon. He chuckled to himself, sure he would explore every island in short order, and started his descent to the beach.  

Down, down, down he hiked, sure of his abilities and feeling more invincible than ever, when suddenly he slipped! The loose rock of the old trail gave way under his hooves and he began to slide down the mountainside and toward a steep cliff. He tried to stop sliding toward his doom, but all hope seemed to be lost. He cried for help, and right before he slid off the side of the mountain a hand grabbed his leg and pulled him to safety.

Barry looked up and saw a mighty centaur. She wore a ball cap with the Prettycool Park Service logo and carried a walkie talkie, and explained that she was on a patrol when she noticed an unoccupied boat, empty camp, and a note that read "went to hike that big mountain over there totally alone" signed by a Mr. Barry Sparkles. Ranger Mona (her actual name was "Mona of the Terror Woods of Darkness, but she usually went by Ranger Mona for simplicity's sake) gave Barry a stern talking to, and said, "Sir, you're seriously lucky to even be alive. There's nothing wrong with adventure, but you have to be smart about it."

He made his way back to camp with the help of Ranger Mona, and made his way back to his boat after a quick rest. He sat on the beach, watching the waves roll in, and thought to himself, Dang. I've gone all this way, and even though this is a different beach I'm still staring at the same waves. I've traveled the high seas, scaled tall mountains, worked for a lawyer, and despite all those dangerous exploits I'm still staring at the same water.

He wondered if it was a waste of time, all the traveling and scares he'd  had along the way, but then he thought, I guess it's more the journey than the destination, right? I could've just stayed home, but I've had more fun looking at the waves on this island than I ever did out of my condo's kitchen window, and staring at the sky from my camp here than from the walk home from a show. This was worth it. 

Barry broke camp, resupplied at the ranger station, thanked Ranger Mona for saving his life, and set sail for home. He came back to the office, his horn chipped and rugged, mane longer and shaggier than ever, and he told story after story about the high seas, the mountains he climbed, the dangers he faced, and his plans to do it all over again smarter and better. 

 The End

It's not exactly what I'd thought up in the car, and it's not really that great, but it's a story.

A grizzled adventurer

That little plush has traveled from the coast, through valleys, mountains, and deserts, and soon it'll be in harshest landscape of all; the bedroom of a seven-year-old girl. I know one day she'll forget about it. After all, it's just a stuffed animal from her uncle, it's not some priceless heirloom. Hell, I'm sure I'll forget about it and this story I typed out before too long, but it's all for fun. You can never tell what a kid will remember though, or what stupid stories you'll make up while driving home in the dark, but I'm sure the adventures Mr. Barry Sparkles will have with my niece will be even better than his sailing and mountaineering for awhile.

A Necktie

My grandma Bette has given me a wide assortment of vintage and novelty neckties for awhile now. They come in a wide array of patterns, themes, ages, and styles, and they all make a statement. There's one tie she'd given me awhile back that I thought was a little unassuming, but it ended up being one of my favorites; it's a slim tie that's brown with a feather design. It's not quite as loud or eye-catching as some of the ties Grandma Bette has given me in the past, so I figured it would go under the radar with other folks too.

However, a few times at work I've been approached about that tie. Quite a few people over the course of months have asked me where I'd gotten it, and explained that their grandfather "had a tie exactly like that one!" before telling me to hold onto it for as long as I can. Mind you, the people telling me this are mostly middle-aged and older, so to hear I'm dressing like a grandpa from the 1960s is pretty awesome. Go figure that the least conspicuous accessory I have at work gets the most attention.

It makes me wonder what people are going to dress like in the future, though. Will bolo ties come back? Will the 1990s look of oversized shoulder pads, giant ties, and generally loose-fitting clothes be the pinnacle of dressy attire again? Are frosted tips going to rear their ugly head back into relevance? Will the short, broad ties and high-waisted slacks of the 30s be a thing again? Will rest homes of the future be filled with old women in Uggs and leggings, and old men in ugly Ed Hardy bullshit?

Will my theoretical grandchildren, 60 years down the line, see someone that dresses like me and comment on that handsome future man's handsome tie?

How often do fashion trends reoccur?

And why did all these people apparently have such handsome and well-dressed grandpas?

It's a mystery.